My parents divorced when I was 1 and I never really had a relationship with my dad. When I was 5 my mum got with a new guy. He was a biker, part of a bikers gang, leathers, the lot.

I looked up to him and hoped that he could be the father I craved but it didn’t work out that way. I think we were competing for my mum’s attention and fought like cat and dog. Looking back I was a little shit to him. He got it all. “you’re not my dad, you can’t tell me anything”, all that. I didn’t think he was right for my mum.

I was an angry young man and when I was 16 I found it easy to get into heroine and I got right into it. Not long after that I had a fight with my step dad. I hurt him badly and got a stretch inside. I’d have got longer if he’d pressed charges.

I’m not proud of that day but I believe everything happens for a reason and this incident brought us closer. While I was inside he got himself counselling, gave up booze and became a much better partner to my mum. I got a little bit of that father son relationship I was looking for. He was there when I needed him and was probably my best friend. I respect that he managed to make the changes in his life to become a better man

The reason I’m talking about this is because its relevant to where I am now. I’m 34 now and had 6 kids by 4 different women. I’ve been taking heroine off and on throughout. Emotionally I’m a great dad, the love and affection, talking. But I’ve chosen this lifestyle and I need to keep it away from my kids so I’ve moved myself away from them. I’m a bad dad on the drugs

I’ve had it with this lifestyle, I’m tired now but this drug has a grip on me. I can get off it but it’s staying off that’s the problem. My kids need their dad not a junky

I’m on a script which is a life saver. Keeps me on a level. The hostel I’m in is making a difference. The help is there but you need to take it. I’m starting to take it. And I’ve seen from my step dad that you can turn things around and form great relationships with your kids, which is all I want. If he did it I’m sure I can too.