Ever since I can remember my Mum was an alcoholic, so I lived with my Grandparents and classed them as my Mum and Dad. When I was about four my mum got married and, a couple of years later gave birth to my little sister. Whenever I went to visit my Mum and my sister I was abused by my step father, he said if I told anyone he would hurt my Mum. By the time I reached the age of ten I refused to go anymore.

Secondary school was bad for me; I was a skinny lad and tried to keep myself to myself, this didn’t work though and I kept getting into fights. During sex education I freaked out. This got me in trouble AGAIN!

I struggled with the rest of school and left before sitting any exams, it was around this time that I started drinking and any money I got was spent on booze.  I began self harming and replaced drink with drugs. The highs made me more sociable and fun to be with, so, naturally I loved it. When I started seeing a girl, I gave up the drugs, but, when we split, I started drinking again, and the anger and violence returned. My health suffered kidney trouble and throwing up blood.

In my late twenties I met the love of my life (bare in mind I’m not with her now, haha) she was also in recovery. Together we both improved our lives, we went to adult education and did our English and Maths together. Six years ago we had a daughter, this has taught me the meaning of true love.

A while ago I did work experience at the Mustard Tree; I was very shy at first and hardly ever spoke. Now they can’t shut me up. I also found survivors, an organisation that supports male survivors of sexual abuse, they made me realise that I am not alone and supported me to report the abuse to the police. Even though my step dad is dead the process helped close this chapter of my life.

I still take part in creative arts, singing and film making. My film was shown at the Nexus cafe last September. My self confidence has improved immensely and I even sang at the Nexus cafe, even though my performance gave me mixed emotions. It felt good to get my story out there, but I felt bad as I could see that it upset some people. I also felt a little guilty for maybe bringing back bad memories that they may have had.

I still go to the Mustard tree occasionally for song club and Street Poem. It’s like a sanctuary, I feel safe and most of my friends are there, people I can talk to in confidence and others I can relate to with similar problems. I particularly like the song club as it boosts both my confidence and self esteem. It has helped me form new friendships and opened my ears to different types of music.

ONE GOAL, ONE LIFE ONE OPPORTUNITY. MAKE THE MOST OF IT!