I grew up in Hulme, a cute ginger kid. My Dad left when I was 4 and my mum was on her own.
I can’t say my childhood was bad. My mum did nice things with us, took us skating, took us to the park, that sort of thing. A bloke in the area looked out for me as well. He was a real hard nut. Everyone was scared of him, but he was good with me, bought sweets, played snowmen. My uncle Jimmy was also a great help to us. He worked at a youth club and got me into art, mosaic, painting, drawing, dancing on the marble stage, painting murals. He used to get the cokes in.
At 10 years old I started having epileptic fits. At 13 I had a fit and injured my face really badly. I was scarred for life. Something changed in me then. I wanted to keep away from everyone. I rebelled big time.
At 14, left home and moved in with a lad. I didn’t comb my hair or brush my teeth for years. I think it was my way of keeping people away. I got into drugs, Coke and crack, and for too long I didn’t look after myself properly. For over 20 years I was lost. The lost years I call them. No relationships, no jobs, no goals.
When I was at my worst a couple called Lee and chantelle gave me a place to stay, let me have a bath, washed my hair, combed it, cooked my tea, proper looked after me. I loved that green bath because I was so ill at the time and it just seemed to soothe me. They cooked every day. I wasn’t even speaking, I must have been the worst company ever, but they still looked after me. I’d like to thank those two. They made such a difference. When you’ve got no confidence and someone reaches a hand out it helps. They reminded me that I was a real person.
Only over the last 5 years have I started to build up my independence and confidence. I moved into supported accommodation for people over 50, which has helped me to make better choices, so I get out more. Mustard tree has been getting me ready for work with experience in a variety of roles. I’m actually doing stuff, courses, art, music, anything to get me out and mixing. I feel closer to people, overcome barriers, developed strategies and don’t want to go back. I’ve got to know myself and realise I have lots to offer. I just wish I’d done something sooner, but better late than never.